Name: The Owl
Measurement: Wingspan
Ambitions: Find habitat and scare the shit out of mice
Turn-ons: Rodents with lame limbs
Turn-offs: Members of the team kicking me everytime they see me
Strange but True: I'm made of plastic
My Philosophy on Life: What do I look like, Sarte? I'm an owl.
I'm Most like this Cartoon Character: Mr. Spacely
My Favorite Beak: The one that those bastards broke off me
RAGBRAI Team I Wouldn't Want to be on: Team Logging
What I Really Want for Christmas: To not be with this group on RAGBRAI next year. They hurt me.
War, What is it Good for: Killing off you humans who keep destroying my habitat. Yeah neutron bomb!
Movie Quote that Defines My Life: "Damn you! Damn you all to hell!" Planet of the Apes (The world would be a better place without humans in control.)
If I had a Million Dollars: I'd have my beak replaced.
Worst RAGBRAI Song: "Takin' Care of Business"
My Secret Superhero Identity: The Pussycat
Animals Don't Attack Me Because: I am an animal that eats other animals and that makes other animals scared shitless of me so they stay away from me.
My RAGBRAI prediction for the next millenium: Humans will be prevented from going on it.
This is How Beer Makes Me Better: I barely have a hole that allows me to smoke. You think I can force beer down it.
Favorite Acronym: ASPCA