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Name: Rick Benak (a.k.a. Richard, Ratt, The Cockroach, Hey Zeus and anything my Mexican students call me)
Measurement: 15.5 gallons
Ambitions: Getting all of my students to become benefits to society; Eliminating corporate America; Getting on Jeopardy
Turn-ons: Good music (check out my CD file); Sense of humor, slightly twisted; Finding dark beer on RAGBRAI; Eco-friendly, free-spirited, anti-whitey people; Husker football; Slim goodies
Turn-offs: Closing time; Slugs who don't go outside; NBA; Losing at darts to 'necks; Anybody who refuses life-long learning
Strange but True: You can't register as a socialist in Nebraska. Wait, that's not too surprising. I'll go with this: I love teaching.
My Philosophy on Life: Money is not the answer. Beer is damn close.
I'm Most like this Cartoon Character: Ernie. Yeah, I know he's a muppet, but we are of the same ilk.
My Favorite Kevin Smith Movies: Chasing Amy and Clerks
RAGBRAI Team I Wouldn't Want to be on: Team Pop Music is My Life
What I Really Want for Christmas: Microsoft declaration of bankruptcy. And throw in some world peace for good measure.
War, What is it Good for: Passing time away when there are only two of you.
Movie Quote that Defines My Life: "Don't be that guy" P.C.U. (Who's that guy? The guy who wears a t-shirt of the band whose concert he's attending. The guy who buys a RAGBRAI shirt from t-shirt alley and wears it the next day. The guy who requests that fucking Stokin' song or Steve Miller or B.T.O. or Meatloaf or...you get the idea.)
If I had a Million Dollars: Our team would have one bitchin' bus and more of my students would have scholarships.
Worst RAGBRAI Song: "Walkin' on the Sun" by Smashmouth (Who wants to see middle age folk trying to act hip? And to a shitty song.) 1999 modification: make that any song by Smashmouth. Those guys suck more than Oasis!
My Secret Superhero Identity: Anal-Retentative Cleanliness Man. My powers include spending long hours in the shower washing my hair; arranging my shirts by style and color; alphabetizing mine and others CD collections and not leaving the campsite being less than fresh.
Animals Don't Attack Me Because: my veins are chock full of alcohol not blood
My RAGBRAI prediction for the next millenium: Evil RAGBRAI scientists will invent a route for riders without wristbands that is entirely uphill, into the wind and consist of non-towns without bars.
This is How Beer Makes Me Better: I am cursed with a disease that make me want to beat myself when I am less than perfect. Beer allows me to fuck-up and not care.
Favorite Acronym: F.O.I.L.
Best Memory of RAGBRAI 35: Being in Ireland.
Bastard Rating: 48% bastard (28% which is tard)
Bitch Rating: 47% bitch
Slut Rating: 45% slutty (seems a bit low)