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TeaMartini Tunes
The Sophomore Effort lyrics

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  1. Liquor, Beer and Wine - Rev. Horton Heat
  2. I Gotta Get Drunk - Willie Nelson
  3. (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love And Understanding - Elvis Costello
  4. Scooby Doo - Family Guy
  5. Flower - Liz Phair
  6. Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle - Nirvana
  7. Self Righteous - All
  8. That's When I Reach For My Revolver - Moby
  9. The City Has Sex - Bright Eyes
  10. Bert And Ernie - Family Guy
  11. Johnny Are You Queer - Josie Cotton
  12. Half The World - Rush
  13. Fuck Her Gently - Tenacious D
  14. Old Home Filler Up an' Keep On Truckin' Cafe - C.W. McCall
  15. The Crane - Trip Shakespeare
  16. Cut Me Off - Gear Daddies
  17. Kool Thing - Sonic Youth
  18. In Concert - The Faint
  19. Pussy - Lords Of Acid
  20. Head Speech - So I Married an Axe Murderer
  21. Zero - Smashing Pumpkins
  22. Rock You - Helix
  23. Free Beer - Fear
  24. Souljacker, Part I - Eels
  25. Sheer Heart Attack - Queen
  26. Choomba Woombas - Family Guy
  27. Down on Me - The Hoodoo Gurus
  28. The Better Half - Grasshopper Takeover
  29. Woke Up Down - Firewater

Liquor, Beer, & Wine

The doctor says I'm livin'
On precious borrowed time,
WIth all the time I'm givin'
To liquor beer and wine.

The X-rays of my liver,
look like molded old swiess cheese,
My heart pumps blood and alcohol,
Through hardended arteries.

Every body knows me,
Down at the local bar,
I drink until I can't see,
And I wonder where you are.

I guess I let my health go,
Since you quit bein' mine,
But there was nothing to replace you,
Except liquor beer and wine.

Liquor, beer, and wine
Is the flashing sign I see
Ever single morning I get up
It's buzzing down at me

I look up to the heaven's
For a ray of hope to shine
And there it is in neon,
Liquor beer and wine

Ever since you've left me
I've lived out of my car
Parked between the liquor store
And Uncle Bubba's bar

Booze helps ease the heartache
But your constantly in mind
As constant as that buzzing noise
Of Uncle Bubba's sign

I Gotta Get Drunk

Well I gotta get drunk and I sure do dread it
Cause I know just what I'm gonna do
I'll start to spend my money
Callin' everybody honey
And wind up singin' the blues
I'll spend my whole paycheck on some old wreck
And brother I can name you a few

Well I gotta get drunk I just can't stay sober
There's a lot of good people in town who wanna hear me holler,
See me spend my dollars,
and I wouldn't think of lettin' `em down

There's a lot of doctors that tell me
I better start slowin' it down
But there's more old drunks than there are old doctors
So I think that I'll have another round!

(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love And Understanding

As I walk through
This wicked world
Searchin' for light in the darkness of insanity.

I ask myself
Is all hope lost?
Is there only pain and hatred, and misery?

And each time I feel like this inside,
There's one thing I wanna know:
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding? Ohhhh
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding?

And as I walked on
Through troubled times
My spirit gets so downhearted sometimes
So where are the strong
And who are the trusted?
And where is the harmony?
Sweet harmony.

'Cause each time I feel it slippin' away, just makes me wanna cry.
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding? Ohhhh
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding?


So where are the strong?
And who are the trusted?
And where is the harmony?
Sweet harmony.

'Cause each time I feel it slippin' away, just makes me wanna cry.
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding? Ohhhh
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding? Ohhhh
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding?

Flower

(Chorus – repeat in background)
Everytime I see your face
I get all wet between my legs.
Everytime you pass me by
I heave a sigh of pain.

Everytime I see your face
I think of things not pure and chaste.
I want to fuck you like a dog,
I'll take you home and make you like it.
Everything you ever wanted,
Everything you ever thought of, is
Everything I'll do to you,
I'll fuck you and your girlfriend, too.
Your face reminds me of a flower
Kind of like you're underwater:
Hair's too long and in your eyes
Your lips a perfect "suck me" size.
You act like you're fourteen years old.
Everything you say is so
Obnoxious, funny, crude and mean.
I want to be your blowjob queen.
You're probably shy and introspective;
That's not part of my objective.
I just want your fresh, young jimmy
Jamming, slamming, ramming in me.
Everytime I see your face
I think of things not pure or chaste.
I want to fuck you like a dog,
I'll take you home and make you like it.
Everything you ever wanted,
Everything you ever thought of, is
Everything I'll do to you,
I'll fuck you till your dick is blue.

Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On

It's so relieving to know that you're leaving as soon as you get paid
It's so relaxing to hear you're asking wherever you get your way
It's so soothing to know that you'll sue me
This is starting to sound the same
I miss the comfort in being sad
In her false witness we hope you're still with us
To see if they float or drown
Our favorite patient A display of patience
Disease covered Puget Sound
She'll come back as fire, to burn all the liars,
And leave a blanket of ash on the ground
I miss the comfort in being sad

Self-Righteous

Self-righteous crusader
Don't care what you don't do
You talk the straight edge, but you walk the crooked mile
Don't misjudge me, cause I ain't on trial

[Chorus]
Just because I suck
Don't mean you're off the hook
Just cause you're not drunk
Don't think you're not fucked up
A lot of good people like to have a good time
Even Jesus Christ turned the water into wine

Self-righteous crusader
Fuck me, and the same to you
It's my body, I'll get high if I want to
Go dry if I want to
Die if I want to

[Chorus]

Don't confuse soberiety with morality
There's a lot of sober murderers
Just look at history
But I'm still an O.K. guy
Even if I want to get high sometimes, high sometimes
High sometimes

[Chorus]

Self-righteous crusader
Don't care what you don't do

That's When I Reach For My Revolver

Once I had my heroes
Once I had my dreams
But all of that is changed now
The truth begins again
The truth is not that comfortable, no
Mother taught us patience
The virtues of restraint
Father taught us boundaries
The knowledge we must go
I'm trying to protect my unity

That's when I reach for my revolver
That's when it all gets blown away
That's when I reach for my revolver
The spirit passes by this way

A friend of mine once told me
His one and only aim
To build a giant castle
And in it sign his name
Sign it with complete community

That's when I reach for my revolver
That's when it all gets blown away
That's when I reach for my revolver
The spirit passes by this way

Now that the sky is empty
And that is nothing new
Instead they look upon us
When they tell me
That we're nothing
I say!

That's when I reach for my revolver
That's when it all gets blown away
That's when I reach for my revolver
The spirit passes by this way

That's when I reach for my revolver
That's when it all gets blown away
That's when I reach for my revolver
The spirit passes by this way

The City Has Sex

the city has sex with itself i suppose
as the concrete collides, the scenery grows
and the lonely once bandaged lay fully exposed
having exposed their wounds for each other
and there is a boy in a basement with a four track machine
he's been strumming and screaming all night, down there
the tape hiss will cover the words that he sings
but then they say it's better to bury your sadness
in a graveyard or garden that waits for the spring to awake from its sleep
and burst into green
and i've cried and you would think i would better for it
but the sadness just sleeps and it stays in your spine
for the rest of your life
and i've learned and you'd think i'd be something more now,
but it just goes to show it is not what you know
its what you were thinking at the time.
this feeling's familiar, i've been here before
in a kitchen this quiet i waited for a sign or just something
that might reassure me of anything close to meaning or motion
(with a reason to move)
i need something i want to be close to
and i scream, but i still don't know why i do it
because the sound never stays it just swells and decays
so what is the point?
why try to fight what is now so certain?
the truth is all that i am is a passing event that will be forgotten.

Johnny Are You Queer?

Johnny what's the deal boy
Is your love for real boy
when the lights are low
You never hold me close Now I saw you today boy
Walking with them gay boys
Now you hurt me so, now I gotta know Johnny are you queer?
'Cause when I see you dancing with your friends
I can't help wondering where I stand

I'm so afraid I'll lose you
If I can't seduce you
Is there something wrong?
Johnny come on strong.

Why are you so weird, boy?
Johnny are you queer boy?
When I make a play
You're pushing me away

'Cause when I see you dancing with your friends
I can't help wondering where I stand

Johnny you've forsaken
A love you could be takin'
I want to give it to you,
But you never come through

Oh, why are you so weird, boy? Johnny are you queer boy? When you asked for a date
I thought that you were straight.
But Johnny are you queer?

Johnny are you queer boy?
Johnny are you queer boy?
Johnny are you queer boy?

Hey Johnny.. Johnny are you.. you know...

Half The World

Half the world hates
What half the world does every day
Half the world waits
While half gets on with it anyway

Half the world lives
Half the world makes
Half the world gives
While the other half takes

Half the world is
Half the world was
Half the world thinks
While the other half does

Half the world talks
With half a mind on what they say
Half the world walks
With half a mind to run away

Half the world lies
Half the world learns
Half the world flies
As half the world turns

Half the world cries
Half the world laughs
Half the world tries
To be the other half

Half of us divided
Like a torn-up photograph
Half of us are trying
To reach the other half

Half the world cares
While half the world is wasting the day
Half the world shares
While half the world is stealing away

Fuck Her Gently

This is a song for the ladies
But fellas listen closely
You don't always have to fuck her hard
In fact sometimes that's not right to do
Sometimes you've got to make some love
And fuckin give her some smoochies too
Sometimes ya got to squeeze
Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometime you've got to say hey
I'm gonna Fuck you softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you sweetly
I'm gonna ball you discreetly
And then you say hey I bought you flowers
And then you say wait a minute sally
I think I got somethin in my teeth
Could you get it out for me
That's fuckin teamwork
Whats your favorite posish?
That's cool with me
Its not my favorite
But I'll do it for you
Whats your favorite dish?
Im not gonna cook it
But I'll order it from Zanzibar
And then I'm gonna love you completely
And then I'll fuckin fuck you discreetly
And then I'll fucking bone you completely
But then I'm gonna fuck you hard
Hard

Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe

Well, Interstate 80, we was cuttin' the fog
Just me an' old Sloan (Old Sloan's my dog)
We had an eighteen-wheeler with ten on the floor and stereo layin' a strip
Now we spied a sign, says "Eat Gas Now"
We decided to whip in and pick up some chow
At the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe

[Chorus]
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin'
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' (a-lookin' for Mavis)
Oh, the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe

Now we've been every place between here and South Sioux
And we've seen us a truck-stop waitress or two
But this gal's built like a burlap bag full of bobcats:
She's got it to-gether

Well, she filled my tank; I said "Thank you, honey."
Her name was Mavis, I gave her the money
Old Sloan just set there, watchin' and waggin' and wishin'.
I says, "You wait in the truck, boy."

Then I went inside. She says, "What'll it be?"
I says "A cup of your best and a number three."
She come back with an order to go and a quart of hot C and a bone for Sloan.
I said, "Much obliged"; old Sloan gave a bark
I left her a buck and he left his heart
At the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe

[Chorus]

Well, Saturday night we was truckin' along
Yeah, me and old Sloan was a-gettin' it on
I said, "Sloan, I've been thinkin' on a-gettin' up my courage, and tonight's the night"
Well, I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin
Took the Beebeetown ramp and slid on in
To the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe

[Chorus]

Well, I got me a stool, took a load off my shoes,
Made Mavis an offer that she couldn't refuse
I says, "How'd ya like to go for a ride with me and old Sloan? I just had my truck warshed."
She allowed as how it sounded like a whole lot of fun
But we was gonna have ta wait until the dishes was done
And was it all right with me if she brought along her mother as a chaperone?
I said, "Why not?"

Well, we geared that tranny into super-low
And the four of us went to see a picture show
Yeah, I took 'em to the drive-in the-a-ter over by Pisgah, to see True Grit
Saw the late, late show; old Sloan hit the sack
And then along about two o'clock I hauled 'em all back
To the Old Home Filler-Up An' Keep On A-Truckin' Cafe

[Chorus]

The Crane

Hear me tell how the hounds of the bankers
Took my mind to the freaking ridge
How the claims and the howling reminders
Kept my eyes from their rest at night
When the dogs of the bank are upon me
And they've come to repossess my car
I'll be found at the base of the canyon
I'll be torn from the wreck of the motor

All you men that live for the evening
Seven hours when the light forgives
And you race like a dog when he's dreaming
And you wait for the yank of the hook
Understand that the chains are magical
And they strain to keep you where you are
I'll be found at the base of the canyon
I'll be torn from the wreck of the motor

[Chorus]
Let the Crane take back the engine
Let the crane take back the wheel
And I feel that the world should come with me
When I ride to the crack in the earth

Hear me tell how you walk into a dreamland
With a line from the back of your head
To the wheel that revolves at the center
And you wait for the yank of the hook
When the dogs of the bank are upon me
And they've come to repossess my car
I'll be found at the base of the canyon
I'll be torn from the wreck of the motor

[Chorus twice]

Oh I feel you should come with me

Yes I feel you should be here
And I feel that the world should come with me
When I ride to the crack in the earth

Cut Me Off

Draw a line for me
Draw a line for me
You bet I'll cross
Draw a line for me

[Chorus]
Well, You can knock me down
You can bring me up
You can leave me out
Well you know when the lights go on and the beer is gone It's still got a hold on me

Well you can tie me on
You can tie me on
You can shoot me up
Go ahead and tie me on

[Chorus]

You better cut me off
Better but me off
Can't stand up
Better cut me off

[Chorus]

Kool Thing

Kool Thing sittin' with a kiddie
now you know you're sure lookin' pretty
like a lover not a dancer
superboy take a chance here
I don't wanna, I don't think so
I don't wanna, I don't think so
Kool Thing let me play it with your radio
move me, turn me on, baby-o
I'll be your slave
give you a shave
I don't wanna, I don't think so
I don't wanna, I don't think so

yeah, tell'em about it,
hit'em where it hurts
hey, Kool Thing, come here, sit down beside me
there's something I go to ask you.
I just wanna know, what are you gonna do for me?
I mean, are you gonna liberate us girls from male white corporate oppression?
tell it like it is!
huh?
yeah!
don't be shy
word up!
fear of a female planet?
fear of a female planet?
fear, baby!
I just want to know that we can still be friends
let everybody know
kool thing, kool thing
when you're a star, I know you'll fix everything

Kool Thing sittin' with a kiddie
now you know you're sure lookin' pretty
rock the beat just a little faster
now I know you are the master
I don't wanna, I don't think so
I don't wanna, I don't think so
kool thing walkin' like a panther
come on and give me an answer
Kool Thing walkin' like a panther
what'd he say?
I don't wanna, I don't think so
I don't wanna, I don't think so

In Concert

You sit outside in the dark get nicked by the strobe light while we're playing indoors.
We play in the bar, we play in the basement.
We play in a room where the mix isn't right.

The help at the door, the age to get in, the artist is smug,
they don't sound like they did.
We're ready to move, the crowd is a stare.
If you got things on you're mind, shake them off.

That's why we have come to collect you bodies from your lovers,
and pause all the sufferingÉat least start pacing.

You're not on the list, you paid to get in.
Your boyfrined is mad, It was something you did.
In concert tonight the bass drum is quick.
If you've got things on your mind, shake them off.

That's why we have come to collect you bodies from your lovers,
and pause all the suffering ... at least start pacing.

Pussy

I wanna see your pussy
Everybody says it's nice
Can I can and come and visit?
I'll be at your house tonight

They tell me it's soft to touch and really smooth
I can hardly wait to feel that pussy too
You wanna play with pussy all the time
To hide that kind of pussy is a crime
You say you're pussy's clever and so slick
But I think your pussy's kind of sick

[Chorus]
I wanna see your pussy, show it to me
Let me see your pussy, show it to me
Show me your pussy, show it to me
I want to see your pussy, show it to me

I want to bet your pussy ain't as pretty as mine
I don't hide my pussy like you do all the time
My pussy's just the sweetest thing you've ever seen
Compared to mine your pussy's really ugly and mean

I bring my pussy everywhere I go
To watch my little pussy is a show
You say that your pussy really clever and slick
But I think your pussy's really thick

[Chorus]

She turns into a tiger when she's ready to eat
My pussy's always hungry for a big chunk of meat
So lay your little pussy right next to mine
You can bring her over around dinner time

My pussy is the hippest thing around
She's always been the talk of the town
You say your pussy's clever and so slick
But I think that your pussy's mighty think

[Chorus]

Zero

my reflection, dirty mirror
there's no connection to myself
i'm your lover. i'm your zero
i'm the face in your dreams of glass
so save your prayers for when we're really gonna need 'em
throw out your cares and fly
wanna go for a ride?

she's the one for me
she's all i really need
cause she's the one for me

emptiness is loneliness,
and loneliness is cleanliness
and cleanliness is godliness,
and god is empty just like me

intoxicated with the madness, i'm in love with my sadness
bullshit fakers, enchanted kingdoms
the fashion victims chew their charcoal teeth
i never let on, that i was on a sinking ship
i never let on that i was down

you blame yourself, for what you can't ignore
you blame yourself for wanting more

she's the one for me
she's all i really need
she's the one for me
she's my one and only

Rock You

Gimme an R (R!) O (O!) C (C!) K (K!)
Whatcha got? (Rock!)
And whatcha gonna do? (Rock you!)

[Repeat]

Hot as a pistol
Loaded like a gun
Ready for action
Gotta have my fun

Don't just sit there
Come on get up and move
If you want to
Tell you what we're gonna do

Rock you (Rock you)
[Repeat]

I've been waiting
For so long
Gonna play it loud
Gonna play it strong

Well don't just sit there
Come on get up and move
If you want to
Tell you what we're gonna do

Rock you (Rock you)
[Repeat 3 times]

Gimme an R (R!) O (O!) C (C!) K (K!)
Whatcha got? (Rock)
And whatcha gonna do? (Rock you)
[Repeat]

Tell me
Rock you

Don't just sit there
Come on get up and move
If you want to
Tell you what we're gonna do

Rock you (Rock you)
[Repeat 7 times]

Free Beer

Free beer, free beer

Who can decipher Lee Ving's lyrics

Souljacker (part 1)

22 miles of hard road
33 years of tough luck
44 skulls buried in the ground
Crawling down through the muck
Oh yeah

Johnny don't like the teacher
Johnny don't like the school
One day Johnny gonna do somethin'
Show 'em he's nobody's fool
Oh yeah

Sisters Brothers make better lovers
Family Affairs down under the covers
trailer park the broken hearts
won't let you leave until you're bleeding

Sally don't like her daddy
Sally don't like her friends
Sally and Johnny watchin' TV
Waitin' for it to end
Oh yeah

Woooh!

Sisters Brothers make better lovers
Family Affairs down under the covers
trailer park, the broken hearts
won't let you leave until you're ROCK!

Waaaa whoo
Ha Ha Ha Ha Wha Ha Ha Ha Ha... Woo!

22 miles of hard road
33 years of tough luck
44 skulls buried in the ground
Crawling down through the muck
Oh yeah

Sheer Heart Attack

Well you're just 17 - all you wanna do is disappear
You know what I mean there's a lot of space
Between your ears
The way that you touch don't feel nothin'
Hey hey hey hey, It was the D. N. A.
Hey hey hey hey, That made me this way

[Chorus]
Do you know, do you know, do you know, just how I feel ?
Do you know, do you know, do you know, just how I feel ?
Sheer heart attack
Sheer heart attack
Real cardiac
I feel so inar, inar, inar, inar, inar, inar, inar, inar – ticulate

Gotta feelin', gotta feelin', gotta feelin', like a paralyse
It ain't no, it ain't no, it ain't no, it ain't no surprise
Turn on the T. V. let it drip right down in your eyes
Hey hey hey hey, It was the D. N. A.
Hey hey hey hey hey, That made me this way

[Chorus]

Just how I feel
Do you know, do you know, do you know. do you know, just how I feel ?
Do you know, do you know, do you know, just how I feel ?
Do you know, do you know, do you know, do you know, just how I feel ?
Sheer heart attack
Sheer heart attack
Real cardiac

Down on Me

I've been going through hell
And it's starting to tell.
Wanna stand up and yell
ÒI wish I had a soul to sellÓ
All I see is down on me,
I don't need down on me,
Everybody is down on me,
Get out of my tree, stop crowding
me.

Ain't it always the way
How people treat you today
Fuck you over and say,
"Now go and have a real nice day!"
They must be down on me,
Can't you see down on me,
I don't need them down on me
Let me breathe, stop drowning me.

They must be down on me,
He and she down on me,
My family is down on me,
Even Mr. T is down on me!
'Cos I'm doing it tough
I thought of turning to drugs
But there is never enough
To keep my problems beneath the rug.

L.S.D. down on me
P.C.P. down on me
T.H.C. down on me
M.S.G. down on me
X.T.C. down on me
F.A.B. down on me
R.I.P. down on me
M.T.V. go down on me

The Better Half

So much shit been sown in my soil. But I know the better half of me. If these possessions lost their only worth, and the bitter light became a part of me.

But the same is true for you is true for me.

Rape but rape can't do you any good, in your search for variety. If sight were sound and sound the spoken word, would be a happy ending to the life of me.

The same is true for you is true for me.
And the better half is who we're supposed to be.

There was this philosophy: a cube to whoever came. The game is the same to me, but I don't play that way. So we learn our lessons from the scars that come from truth. And I will never give in while the stars remain in my view.

'Cause I don't care what the people say, 'cause what they do and what they say are two different things!

And it hurts me so fucking bad well I said, "No way!"

So much need been knead in my dough. But I do not eat in quantity. My sight is sound and sound the spoken word. Give the gracious gift of God through quality.

Woke Up Down

Wake Me, Break Me, Take Me To Your Leader
Memorize And Regurgitate:
Isn't Learning Wonderful?
I Can Take It (I Think I Can Take It)

Preach Me, Bleach Me, Teach Me To Be A Robot
My Life Is A Series Of Accidents And Irritants
But I'm Waiting (I'm Still Waiting)

And The Stars Will Never Shine
Upon Your Ill-Computed Plans
You're Just A Shadow In The Mirror (Just A Shadow)
I Woke Up Down

Fail Me, Jail Me, Feed Me Into Your System
You Look A Lot Like Aliens
But You're Acting Just Like Animals In A Movie
(And This Isn't A Movie)

And The Stars Will Never Shine
Upon Your Ill-Computed Plans
You're Just A Shadow In The Mirror (Just A Shadow)
I Woke Up Down