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TeaMartini Tunes
The Charm lyrics

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  1. Leg to Hump - Family Guy
  2. Baby I am Drunk - Reverand Horton Heat
  3. I Want a Beer - All in the Family
  4. Naked Women and Beer - Hank Williams Jr.
  5. Solution and Cause - Homer Simpson
  6. The Slow Descent Into Alcoholism - New Pornographers
  7. I Know What Boys Like - The Waitresses
  8. Whiny Little Runt - Family Guy
  9. Dirty White Boy - Foreigner
  10. Lifestyles Of The Rich and Famous - Good Charlotte
  11. Symbols of Republican Party - Family Guy
  12. You Can Kill the Protester but You Can't Kill the People - Anti-Flag
  13. Head First, Feet First - Telegraph
  14. From Out Of Nowhere - Faith No More
  15. Heineken & PBR - Frank Booth
  16. Favorite Bar - The Leaving Trains
  17. Sesame Street Phone - Family Guy
  18. I Love Trash - Oscar the Grouch
  19. Steve Is Here - Dramarama
  20. Perpetually - Samantha Jones
  21. Gary & Melissa - King Missile
  22. That Sort of Thing - Robin
  23. Don't Marry Her - The Beautiful South
  24. Little Bones - The Tragically Hip
  25. You Like Jimi Hendrix - Marge Simpson
  26. Are You Experienced? - Jimi Hendrix
  27. Weed With Willie - Toby Keith
  28. BBQ Your Asses - Buford T. Justice
  29. East Bound And Down - Jerry Reed
  30. Uncontrollable Urge - Devo
  31. Dreamline - Rush
  32. I Don't Like White People - Reggie Hammond
  33. Had A Dad - Jane's Addiction
  34. Siva - Smashing Pumpkins
  35. Fucking Bitch - Miranda Hobbes
  36. Cold Hard Bitch - Jet
  37. Is it All Over? - Rocky and Bullwinkle

Baby I'm Drunk

Baby (repeat 20 times)

You don't have to remind me,
I smell like a skunk,
Excuse me baby but,
(hicup) I'm drunk.

Honey Honey Honey Honey Honey,
Darlin' Darlin' Darlin' Darlin' Darlin',
Child Child Child Child Child
Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby.

I'll explain in the morning
Baby that's no lie,
But tonight little honey,
I'm also high

I'm just happy to he bere
Home for the nest of the right...
I'll explain in the morning,
because the kitchen bright's too light.

Baby (repeat 20 times)

You don't have to remind me,
I smell like a skunk,
Excuse me baby but,
(hicup) I'm drunk.

Honey Honey Honey Honey Honey,
Darlin' Darlin' Darlin' Darlin' Darlin',
Child Child Child Child Child
Baby Baby Baby Baby Baby.

I'll explain in the morning
Baby that's no lie,
But tonight little honey,
I'm also high

I'm just happy to he bere
Home for the nest of the right...
I'll explain in the morning,
because the kitchen bright's too light.

Baby (repeat 20 times)

You don't have to remind me,
I smell like a skunk,
Excuse me baby but,
(hicup) I'm drunk.

Naked Women and Beer Lyrics

Well you head on out in the jungle
Lookin' for the girls to tumble
Up and down and all around the stage
But when the women start takin' their clothes off
Now we have got some strange laws
The most hypocritical thing around these days
Cause where I live in Tennessee
Why an auto parts calander
Hey thats pornography
But go right down the road, read what the sign says

Naked women and beer
We got it all in here
For your eyes and your ears
They show it all in the clear
Way up north and down south
Whoo, somebody shut my mouth

Now I ain't sayin' it's right
But I ain't sayin' it's wrong
But myself I enjoy the site
Of pretty girls dancin' to their songs
And it's been like that
Since way back when
From little Egypt to the Vegas strip
And when the music starts groovin'
And the girls start movin'
Ain't nothing gonna make 'em quit

Naked women and beer
We got it all in here
For your eyes and your ears
They show it all in the clear
Way up north and down south
Whoo, somebody shut my mouth

Nak-Nak-Nak-Nak-Nak-Naked women
Nak-Nak-Nak-Naked Women
Ice cold beer
It's all together in here
Naked women and beer

C'mon in out of the rain
We got the girls that will make you
Spend all your change
Naked women and beer

The Slow Decent Into Alcoholism

I say, my, my slow decent
Into alcoholism it went
To my head, where i really need it
With the views that remain untreated

I say my, my, my, my slow decent
Into alcoholism it went...

Something like this song
Something like this song...

Salvation whole life central...

I say my, ever loosening grip
On the commonest courtesy slipped
From my hands, where i really need her
When i need change for the parking meters

I say my, my, my, my slow decent
Into alcoholism it went...

Something like this song
Something like this song...

Salvation whole life central...

I Know What Boys Like

I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I know what boys like
I've got what boys like

I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I see them looking

I make them want me
I like to tease them
They want to touch me
I never let them

I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I know what boys like, boys
like, boys like me

But you, you're special
I might let you
You're so much different
I might let you
Mmmmm would you like that
I might let you

I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I liow what boys like
I know what's on their minds

I what what boya like
I know what guys want
They talk about me

I got my cat moves
That so upset them
Zippers and buttons
Fun to frustrate them
They get so angry
Like pouty children
Denied their candy
I laugh right at them

I know what buys like
I know what guys want
I know what boys like,
boys like, boys like me
Na, na, nya, nya, nya, nya

I feel sad now
I will let you
Sorry I teased you
I will let you
This time I mean it
I wil1 let you
Anything you want
You can trust me
I really want to
You can trust me
How would you like it
You can trust me

Sucker. Hmmmmm


I know what boys like
I know what guys want
I know what boys like, boys
like, boys like me

Gny, nya, gna nyah nya

Dirty White Boy

Hey, baby, if you're feelin' down
I know what's good for you all day
Are you worried what your friends see
Will it ruin your reputation lovin' me

'Cause I'm a dirty white boy
A dirty white boy
A dirty white boy

Don't drive no big black car
Don't like no Hollywood movie star
You want me to be true to you
Don't give a damn what I do to you

I'm just a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy
Dirty white boy
Dirty white boy

Well, I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy
Dirty white boy
Dirty white boy
Dirty white boy

I been in trouble since I don't know when
I'm in trouble now and I now somehow I'll find trouble again
I'm a loner, but I'm never alone
Every night I get one step closer to the danger zone

'Cause I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy
I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy

C'mon, c'mon boy
White boy
I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy
Well, I'm a dirty white boy
I'm a dirty white boy
Dirty white boy

Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous

Always see it on TV
Or read it in the magazines
Celebrities who want sympathy
All they do is piss and moan
Inside the rolling stone
Talking about
How hard life can be

I'd like to see them spend a week
Living life out on the street
I don't think they would survive
If they could spend a day or two
Walking in someone else's shoes
I think they'd stumble and they'd fall
They would fall...
(fall----)

Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous
They're always complainin'
Always complainin'
If money is such a problem
Well they got mansions
Think we should rob them

Did you know if you were famous
You could kill you're wife
And there's no such thing as 25 to life
As long as you've got the cash to pay for Cochran
Did you know if you were caught
And you were smoking crack
McDonalds wouldn't even wanna take you back
You could always just run for mayor of D.C

I'd like to see them spend a week
Living life out on the street
I don't think they would survive
If they could spend a day or two
Walking in someone else's shoes
I think they'd stumble and they'd fall
They would fall

Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous
They're always complainin'
Always complainin'
If money is such a problem
Well they got mansions
Think we should rob them
(Rob them)
(Rob them)

They would fall(they would fall)
They would fall----

Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous
They're always complainin'
Always complainin'
If money is such a problem
We've got so many problems
Think I can solve them

Lifestyles of the Rich and the Famous
We'll take your clothes, cash, cars and homes
Just stop complainin'

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous
Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

You Can Kill The Protestor, but You Can't Kill The Protest

You can spoon my eyes out,
but I can still see through you
Slice my ears from my head,
but you can not shut out the sounds of truth
Lock off each sound at the wrist
so I can't raise my fist!

you can kill the protestor (can't kill)
you can't kill the protest
you can murder the rebel (murder)
you can't murder the rebellion

Sawed my feet at the ankles, but i wasnt going to run
Grabbed my face, sliced off my tongue
Lock off each hand at the wrist,
so I can't raise my fist!

you can kill the protestor (can't kill)
you can't kill the protest
you can murder the rebel (murder)
you can't murder the rebellion

Lying still now,
No way to speak.
Nothing to fear,
Bullets can't silence ideas!

Head First, Feet First

Chorus:
Just me, Just you.
Scene status percieved separates us from you.
Just me, just you.
Not gonna be like you.
Just me, just you.
Scene status percieved separates us from you.
Just me, just you.
I'm gonna see it through.


Them and them and you could tell I was right where you were before you
reached the phone with no return.
Well you're looking down at me and I'm
looking up at you and I'm thinking to myself were we just equals?
Explain to me, ha, and talk to me.
Well all you do is point at me, it's such a
misery.
Yeah, it's a principle the obstacles you lift but isn't it an honor to take the next step?

We'll put it in your face, but you can't hold up.
You don't really care,
I'll keep it to myself then.

Why you tellin people you don't think that I belong?
All that's said tears me apart, and tell it to my face, so tell me if you can just what
it is you do.
Well I ain't done yet, so I could feel rest. Well I could be less than the person that I am, the person I became, the person you
don't run around.
Screw me and fight over something someone said, but there's just no way, that I'm gonna go now! Hey! Hey!

chorus

I want feet first, you want head first
I want feet first, you want head first
I want feet first, you want head first
yeah!

chorus

From Out Of Nowhere

Tossed into my mind, stirring the calm
You splash me with beauty and pull me down
You come from out of nowhere
My glance turns to a stare
Obsession rules me-I'm yours from the start
I know you see me-Our eyes interlock
You come from out of nowhere
My glance turns to a stare
One minute here and one minute there
Don't know if I'll laugh or cry
One minute here and one minute there
And then you wave good-bye...
Sifting to the bottom, every day for two
All energy funnels, all becomes you
You come from out of nowhere
My glance turns to a stare
One minute here and one minute there
Don't know if I'll laugh or cry
One minute here and one minute there
And it hurts inside
One minute here and one minute there
And then you wave good-bye...

Favorite Bar

Tear down my favorite bar
I guess I went to far
I donÕt remember what IÕd done
I guess that I was having fun

Take down my favorite bed
I guess it was something I said
I donÕt remember what IÕd done
I guess that I was having fun

I Love Trash

Oh, I love trash!
Anything dirty or dingy or dusty
Anything ragged or rotten or rusty
Yes, I love trash

I have here a sneaker that's tattered and worn
It's all full of holes and the laces are torn
A gift from my mother the day I was born
I love it because it's trash

Oh, I love trash!
Anything dirty or dingy or dusty
Anything ragged or rotten or rusty
Yes, I love trash

I have here some newspaper thirteen months old
I wrapped fish inside it; it's smelly and cold
But I wouldn't trade it for a big pot o' gold!
I love it because it's trash

Oh, I love trash!
Anything dirty or dingy or dusty
Anything ragged or rotten or rusty
Yes, I love trash

I've a clock that won't work
And an old telephone
A broken umbrella, a rusty trombone
And I am delighted to call them my own!
I love them because they're trash

Oh, I love trash!
Anything dirty or dingy or dusty
Anything ragged or rotten or rusty
Yes, I love, I love, I love trash!

Steve is Here

Steve is here and itÕs begun
Steve is here and weÕre having fun
Steve is here and itÕs begun
Steve is here and weÕre having

WeÕre having fun
Yeah weÕre in the sun
WeÕre in the sun
Yeah weÕre having fun
WeÕre having fun
Yeah Ôcause Steve is here

Gary and Melissa

Gary and Melissa
Loved to make love
Loved to make love
Loved to make love to each other
Over and over and over again
For the first few weeks of their relationship
They made love four or five times a night
They were really turned on for awhile
Then to enhance their passion
They bought sex books
The Joy of Sex
The Sensous Couple
The Joy of Sex Part 2
The Kama Sutra
Even Yet More Still Joy of Sex
Popular Mechanics
Betty Crocker
Anything
They tried as many positions as they were capable of
Physically
Physically
Physically
They were really turned on for awhile

Then to heighten their passion
They bought sex toys
Ben-wa balls
French ticklers
Nipple clamps
Cock rings
Whips and chains and bondage gear
Bowling balls
Dildos
Vibrators
Watermelons
Commemorative Statuettes of Liberty
Anything
They were really turned on for awhile

They set up a video camera
And taped themselves having sex
Then they watched it on the VCR
While having more sex
Then to heighten their passion
Gary taped Melissa having sex with some of his friends
And Melissa taped Gary having sex with some of her friends
Then they watched it on the VCR
While having more sex
They were really turned on

As the years went by
Gary and Melissa became fine upstanding members of their community
Although they never married
Their relationship outlasted all the marriages on their block
And they never fought
Except to heighten their passion
They had made an agreement
That when one of them died
The other would continue to live with and make love to the corpse
But as luck would have it
They were both killed in a freak accident
And died at the exact same moment
Holding hands

DonÕt Marry Her

Think of you with pipe and slippers
Think of her in bed
Laying there just watching telly
Then think of me instead

I'll never grow so old and flabby
That could never be
Don't marry her, fuck me

And your love light shines like cardboard
But your work shoes are glistening
She's a PhD in "I told you so"
You've a knighthood in "I'm not listening"

She'll grab your sweaty bollocks
Then slowly raise her knee
Don't marry her, fuck me

And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
And you realise you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, fuck me

Those lovely Sunday mornings
With breakfast brought in bed
Those blackbirds look like knitting needles
Trying to peck your head

Those birds will peck your soul out
And throw away the key
Don't marry her, fuck me

And the kitchen's always tidy
And the bathroom's always clean
She's a diploma in "just hiding things"
You've a first in "low esteem"

When your socks smell of angels
But your life smells of Brie
Don't marry her, fuck me

And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
And you realise you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, fuck me

And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay
And you realise you can't make it anyway
You have to wash the car
Take the kiddies to the park
Don't marry her, fuck me

Little Bones

It gets so sticky down here
Better butter your cue-finger up
It's the start of another new year
Better call the newspaper up
2.50 for a hi-ball,
And buck and a half for a beer
Happy hour, happy hour
Happy hour is here

The long days of Shockley are gone
So is football Kennedy style
Famous last words taken all wrong
Wind up on the very same pile
2.50 for a decade
And a buck and a half for a year
Happy hour, happy hour
Happy hour is here

I can cry, beg and whine
T'every Rebel I find
Just to give me a line
I could use to describe
They'd say, Baby eat this chicken slow
It's full of all them little bones.

So regal and decadent here
Coffin cheaters dance on their graves
Music, all it's delicate fear
Is the only thing that don't change
2.50 for and eyeball
And a buck and a half for an ear
Happy hour, happy hour
Happy hour is here

Nothing's dead down here, just a little tired
They'd say, Baby eat this chicken slow
It's full of all them little bones.

Are You Experienced?

If you can just get your,... mind together
then come on across to me
We'll hold hands an' then we'll watch the sun rise
.....from the bottom of the sea
But first

Are you experienced?
Ah! Have you ever been experienced?
Well, I have

I know, I know
you'll probably scream n' cry
That your little world won't let go!
But who in your measly little world are trying to prove that
You're made out of gold and -a can't be sold

So-uh, are you experienced?
Ah! Have you ever been experienced?
Well, I have

Ah, let me prove it to you,..........

Trumpets and violins like up here in the distance
I think they're calling our names
Maybe now you can't hear them, but you will ha
if you just, take hold of my hand

Oh, but are you experienced?
Have you ever been experienced?

Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful

Weed With Willie

I always heard that his her was top shelf
Lord I just could not wait to find out for myself.
Well don't knock it till you've tried it.
And I've tried it my friend.
I'll never smoke Weed with willie again!

Now we learned a hard lesson in a small Texas town
He fired up a fat boy and he passed it around
The last words I spoke before they tucked me in
I may discount Bungee jump but,
I'll never smoke weed with Willie again.

Chorus:
I'll never smoke weed with Willie again
My party's all over before it begins
You can't pour me some old whiskey River my friend.
But I'll never smoke weed with Willie again

We hopped on his old bus the Honeysuckel Rose
The party was Huntsville, but it was after the show
Alone in the front lounge, just me and him
I took one friendly puff and the grim creeper set in

chorus

Now we're passin' the guitar, we're tellin' good jokes
I can tell one's a comin' 'cause I'm smellin' smoke
No I do not partake I just let it pass by
With a grin on my face and a great contact high

chorus

In the fetal position with drool on my chin
We broke down and smoked weed with Willie again

East Bound And Down

Chorus:
East bound and down
Load it up and truckin'
We gonna do what they say can't be done
We got a long way to go, and a short time to get there
We're east bound and watch old bandit run

Keep the foot hard on the pedal
So never mind them brakes
Let it all hang out cause we got a run to make
Boys are thirsty in Atlanta, they got beer in Texarcana
And we'll bring it back no matter what it takes

chorus twice

Old smokie got them ears on
And he's hot on your trail
He ain't gonna rest 'till your in jail
So you gotta dodge 'em and you gotta duck 'em
You gotta keep that diesel truckin
Just whip that hammer down and give it hell

chorus

Uncontrollable Urge

Got an urge got a surge
And itÕs out of control
Got an urge I wanna purge
Õcause IÕm losing control
Uncontrollable urge
I wanna tell you all about it
Got an uncontrollable urge
Makes me scream and shout it

HeÕs got an uncontrollable urge
IÕve got an uncontrollable urge
HeÕs got an uncontrollable urge
IÕve got an uncontrollable urge

ItÕs got style itÕs got class
So strong I canÕt let it pass
I gotta tell you all about it
I gotta scream and shout it

And I say yeah

Dreamline

He's got a road map of Jupiter
A radar fix on the stars
All along the highway
She's got a liquid-crystal compass
A picture book of the rivers
Under the Sahara

They travel in the time of the prophets
On a desert highway straight to the heart of the sun
Like lovers and heroes, and the restless part of everyone
We're only at home when we're on the run
On the run

He's got a star map of Hollywood
A list of cheap motels
All along the freeway
She's got a sister out in Vegas
The promise of a decent job
Far away from her hometown

They travel on the road to redemption
A highway out of yesterday -- that tomorrow will bring
Like lovers and heroes, birds in the last days of spring
We're only at home when we're on the wing
On the wing

When we are young
Wandering the face of the earth
Wondering what our dreams might be worth
Learning that we're only immortal --
For a limited time

Time is a gypsy caravan
Steals away in the night
To leave you stranded in Dreamland
Distance is a long-range filter
Memory a flickering light
Left behind in the heartland

We travel in the dark of the new moon
A starry highway traced on the map of the sky
Like lovers and heroes, lonely as the eagle's cry
We're only at home when we're on the fly
On the fly

We travel on the road to adventure
On a desert highway straight to the heart of the sun
Like lovers and heroes, and the restless part of everyone
We're only at home when we're on the run
On the run...

Had A Dad

Had a dad
Big and strong
Turned around
Found my daddy gone
He was the one
Made me what I am today
It's up to me now
My daddy has gone away...

Well I spoke to the mountain
I listened to the sea
Both told me that the fountain
Was the best that you could be
My daddy's hand it growed
Show to the lickin
Sonny boy
Grow to whip him!

If you see my dad
Tell him my brothers
All gone mad
They're beating on each other
I walked around
Even tried to call
Got that funny feeling

He's not there
At all...

Siva

I spin off and lose my head
Throwing stray a spark instead
Gather strength down in my heel
And dig it in the world I peel

Way down deep within my heart
Lies a soul that's torn apart
Tell me, tell me what your after
I just want to get there faster

I don't live - I inhale
I don't give - I unveil
Don't want to live in your misery
I don't live - I inhale

Sprinkle all my kisses on your head
Stars full of wishes fill our beds
She said, "I'm dead"

All this pain smothers me
Like a bomb that you can't see
Tell me, tell me what your after
I just want to get there faster

I don't live - I inhale
I don't give - I unveil
I don't live - I inhale
I don't live

Cold Hard Bitch

Gotta leave town
Got another appointment
Spent all my rent
Girl you know I enjoy it

Gonna hang around till there's nobody dancing
I don't wanna hold hands and talk about our little plans, alright!

Cold hard bitch
You're just a kiss on the lips
Then I was on my knees
I'm waiting, give me
Cold hard bitch
She was shakin' her hips
So that was all that I needed

Gotta check her out
She's my latest attraction
Gonna hang around
Wanna get a reaction

Gonna take her home cause' she's over romancing
Don't wanna hold hands and talk about her little plans alright!

Cold hard bitch
You're just a kiss on the lips
And I was on my knees
I'm waiting give me
Cold hard bitch
She was shakin' her hips
So that was all that I need
I'm waiting give me
Cold hard bitch
You're just a kiss on the lips
And I was on my knees

Yeah I'm waiting
Yeah I'm waiting
Yeah I'm waiting
Yeah I'm waiting
Yeah

Cold hard bitch
You're just a kiss on the lips
Then I was on my knees
I'm waiting give me
Cold hard bitch
She was shakin' her hips
So that I was all that I need
I'm waiting give me
Cold hard bitch
You're just a kiss on the lips
And I was on my knees
I'm waiting give me