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| Is anyone surprised to see this group in an alternate town? |
The morning sun peered into the big bay windows and the smell of freshly made muffins filled the air. The truth that RAGBRAI was beginning filled the senses of all involved. Team LERF (Leave Early Ride Fast) as ready to hit the open rode. This anagram didn't quite fit into TeaMartini's idea of the ride. They were more of the Team ALPS (Arise Late Pedal Slow) mentality.
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| It surely wouldn't be this group |
Regardless of how it was written, Laurie iPod-ded up her bike and headed out for the alternative route down the Wabash-Trace while Rick loaded up the SagBug. One thing to remember when taking routes in the "Fuck Chuck" vein: those doing the variation are rogues and are likely to still be sleeping at 8:30 a.m. With this thought nowhere in Laurie's mind she was in and out of Malvern in a matter of minutes. Where were the drunks she longed to see? By 10:30 that morning she was already in Imogene sitting in the Emerald Isle. The town of sixty-six was getting ready for fun, but they may have been wondering why they already had a visitor. Fortunately a beer was not out of the question. Nor was the second one.
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| Stretch getting a little Sandy |
After a wasted trip back to Omaha, Rick finally arrived in Malvern. Since it was 2:30 in the afternoon there were plenty of riders lining the streets. For a town that couldn't support the traffic RAGBRAI (according to the Nazis at the DMR) it seems that the pub, grocery store and Pat's Place were all ready for influx of thirsty and hungry folks. The first riders that Rick ran into were the father-son party combo of Sam and Austin. Raw hotdogs and chips for lunchÉonly on this bike ride. The call of Pippy from across the street signified the presence of Team Die Hard and Johnny Paco. The mix under the awning was a veritable Who's Who of rogue riders: Paco, Mel, Brad, Kim (Velma) and Stretch to name a few. After Mel blatantly disregarded Rick's doctor's orders and served him up a frozen tasty drink, the rest of the Die Hard contingent arrived. Gary, Melissa, Mona and the "y'all" queen, Sandy. Spirits were high in spite of the 95-degree temperature displayed on the bank sign. As the time grew closer to 4:00, Rick knew that he needed to get on and find his team buddy, so he headed back to SagBug and went down the road to Imogene. There was a lingering going through his brain as he left town: Why was Johnny Law so cool about the people drinking on the sidewalks? This might be the RAGBRAI without oppressive
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| Someone's been drinking all afternoon...legally |
whiteyness.
By the time Rick arrived in Imogene the sun was melting the pavement and shade was at a premium. Located on a big hill under the elms, where most of the shade could be found, was Team Angry. Rick shared a picture of his wound from his digital camera with the group. No one asked again why he wasn't riding. Rick's looming question of "Where's the person with a shirt matching mine?" was soon answered by Janet and Mark (commonly known to these riders as Chickenman). He was informed that she has been sitting in the bar for many an hour and is quite irate. Or maybe quite buzzed. A quick run through the not-as-fresh-as-it-could-have-been establishment revealed no matching Martini. Luckily for this team they rely more on good karma than actual positioning. All it took was a little walk down the street and Rick was spotted by Laurie and her Die Hard partner, Kayla. As most will notice, life is better when accompanied by attractive people. With the arrival of Jana, the streets of Imogene were treated to a foursome of unbeatable beauty. Many will take this vision of drop-dead gorgeousness to their graves.
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| About damn time those boys got into town |
The rest of the day became one of wondering what was going to happen next. Johnny Law is busting an underage girl for drinking. Johnny Law is going to shut down Chickenman. Johnny Law is going to let Chickenman serve but any MIPs are his fault. The Diego bus can't resist playing terrible music. Johnny Law is shutting down Chickenman. Johnny Law is not allowing anyone to have open container outside the bar. Even more hateful music is screaming from the Diego bus. Wes "Grasshopper" finally shows his bright face and broken bike. As it often goes, once you see one Die Hard, the rest are not more than four hours behind. As the minutes fell away, Paco, Sandy, Gary, Melissa and Mona all made there way into town. There wasn't an immediate Mel sighting but he might still be involved in the oops-drink making business somewhere along the trail. A group that made a reputation for themselves on the trail that day was Team CO2 and that bright orange shirt was just spotted rounding the corner. It was because of CO2 that many riders couldn't make it into town earlier and without blurred vision.
The heat and glory of the day eventually took their toll on the Martinis and so they loaded up the SagBug and headed off to Shenandoah. It was nice enough town with enough pink flamingos to keep 1950's suburbia all a-tingle. But with no set place to camp and no recognizable team busses to help them out, the SagBug and its occupant made the trip up the interstate to beds and air conditioning. With a big lightening storm on the horizon it didn't appear to be the worst decision in the world.
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