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|Tuesday - Fort Dodge to Iowa Falls|
Fort Dodge - The Morning
The day once again starts out with Rick's colon. If he would just go one night without drinking the daily recap could start out with Steve realizing it's two in the afternoon and frantically waking everyone up. As it is, Rick is able to see off Team 144, the other team staying at Liz's house. Now that they're gone, it's time for Liz to make us pancakes and sausages. Somebody needs to pry Chris away from the cable TV in the basement and wake Steve and Heidi up from their eternal slumber. Is the team ready? Let's see. Pie bungeed on bike. Check. Rest of pie in van for Babs to snack on all week. Check. Strokin' CD hidden on Heidi's bike. Check. Another nice gift from Liz before we leave - a shortcut to Badger. She might be the host of the year.
Badger, Eagle Grove
It didn't take long to get to Badger. There ain't' shit happening here. Is this what early people do for fun? Let's head on over to Eagle Grove, there's rumor of a museum. Those little birds were right. The knowledge gained at the museum will be of infinite help at future NTN Trivia contests. Since we're here we might as well have one beer, one ear of corn and a walking taco. Add another to items one and two. Do it again. Add another to item one for Steve and Heidi. Do it again. When you get as much sleep as those two it's easy see why they can knock off a twelve betwixt them before noon. While those two are tenderizing their livers, Rick and Chris get some shut-eye then Chris and Laurie take off then another hour melts away. You know, it's already Tuesday and Heidi hasn't gone on the ... oh wait, there she goes running off. It's not swass, it's blunt. Everybody's ready to go. We meet up with Gary. Actually the stereo met up with Gary and he liked what he heard so he led the draft line all 21 miles to Dows. Couples on tandems make good side wind blocks, now if they would only stay the whole time.
Babs is waiting for the bikers in Dows. A nice spot under a big shade tree. Might be able to sneak a little nap in. Where is Laurie and Chris? In 21.9 miles it is easy to find a good hiding place, like maybe right on the side of the road. Babs had plenty of time to scout out the town. She knows where all the clean no-line bathrooms are. Wish she knew where to tell those losers in the van with the shitty music to go. Tough to nap when being bombarded by crap. If our nap wasn't interrupted then maybe Laurie and Chris would have enough energy to finish off the day's ride. Lucky for them. It was nothing by side and head wind all afternoon. Team Pink Floyd was right outside of town and we gave them a CD in honor of our fallen biker, Dor. An immediate "Thank you" was given by a group of their riders pulling us for five miles. Unfortunately the pace of the stereo bike was far below what they were used to and we lost them. Except for the one rider. Music was far more important than winning the race.
It didn't take too long to find the mansion. We arrive a bit too late to shower as Candy is heading out to check out the fun in town. I guess we can smell a little while longer. Of course Heidi doesn't need to cleanse, she never sweats (and with the Yukon-like summer we're having, no one was sweating). Chris leaves because Whitey hates us. Steve and Laurie make a run to T-shirt alley which makes the camp Entringerless. Can't stay in that kind of environment. It seems like a good time to head over to the DQ. While slamming down that Dilly Bar we get to watch the local yutes build a bonfire in the front yard. What are they adding to that sumbitch? Was that a couch? At least aircraft will know where the party is. Rick always knows where the bathroom is. It's clean and private, so take your time. That is until some hump can't figure out that saying "occupied" doesn't mean keep knocking on the door. Asshole! The team all reconvenes at camp and the final three can shower. Who are those people setting up camp next to the street? Guests or pests? The latter is getting the green light. Babs heads off to tent as the others head off to fun. Fun or a town square where the ground is masquerading as a carpet of Miller Lite bottles. When leaving the town dump we pass by a collection of Johnny Laws. Quite cliquey the central Iowa law enforcement. Brown uniform with yellow patch reach out and talk to dark blue uniform with light blue patch. Build the bridge. We reach out to one and ask where the closest bar is located. That close, nice. So, which one will you be busting first? The same one. See you there. It seems that every human on the ride is in this hole. It's even worse in the beer garden. Can you even legally stack flesh that high? Fuck it, let's drink at camp. On the way back we find this great cafe that is opening up at 6:00a Tuesday and staying open until 10:00p Wednesday. Might make for a big hot breakfast at four bells. When we arrive back at camp the psychos on the curb are arguing non-stop. After they jet Babs emerges and gives everyone the skinny. In short: Who's got the money? Where is he now? Did he spend it all on strippers? You know, compared to some teams, we're angels.