Recap 98 - Part I
Saturday--The trip to Hawarden
It started off simple enough. Bum a ride with Team B.A.R.T. on their luxury liner, ala Springfield Elementary, and relax and enjoy the day. Then I saw the tapper on the bus. The first beer went down so nice that morning. As I was enjoying that hearty breakfast I thought about how there is an average of 30 days in each month. That made me think that 30 beers would be good for that day. So it was thought, so it was done. Todd got us to Rhonda's house and we unloaded our crap. Then we opened our coolers. Then we sat on the front porch. Things happened rapidly from there. Beer. Beer. Rebecca from La Vista. Beer. Beer. Pasta feed at the high school. Beer. "Top drawer" Dave shows up. Beer. Beer. Rest of team shows up. Beer. Beer. I become Pippy Longstockings. Beer. Beer. I really like my new hair style. Beer. Tornado sirens. Drive to get more beer (not me behind the wheel). Let's paint toenails. Beer. Beer. Linda pukes. Beer. Beer. Beer. Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Beer. Beer. Team sleeps inside, except for Bryan (he likes the feeling of dew in morning).
Sunday--Hawarden to Cherokee
Was this year going to be Africa hot again. It started out that way. The only way to beat the heat was to play Grasshopper Takeover real loud on my bike stereo and sing to it. That was it for my voice for a few days. How can I be charming without a voice. Ireton had little shade and too long a wait for beers. Thank God Bryan had a cooler full on the back of his bike. Beef jerky bought in Ireton will last for five days in the bottom of your bike pack. A little something to snack on each day. Watch out for losers singing Bob Seger to Laurie. Hell, just watch out for losers, (They're easy to spot...they like Bob Seger.) Le Mars offered some first sightings: Team Die Hard and Marsha Traeger. See Die Hard in Remsen and offer them some Staver hospitality. Arrive at the Staver's house to chilled Newcastles and warm showers. Not to mention the air conditioned garage with a recliner and TV. Great meal of burgers (from Omaha Steaks) and all the fixins. Meet Jana. Tony, Bryan and I decide to go into town. "Don't lose Tony!" We get sloshed and Ricki increases our boob count by one. We lose Tony on the ride back. I lose my balance. I find pavement. I lose a glove. When arriving back drunk, don't stand outside Mel's tent and yell for Jana. Mel doesn't like that. Sleep in cool basement.