Recap 98 - Part IV

Friday--Cedar Falls to Monticello

Ninety-two miles? Blow me. Bryan and I sag the first half. The stop at the cash machine wasn't good for Linda's cash card. People in Independence aren't used to Pippy. Bryan leaves $4 tip on $5 meal. You can't get saline solution in the supermarket. Quasqueton has two sides: good-Hanson Brothers fishing in the big pond, bad-the kid who won't shut up. I'll give twenty bucks to first person who shoves that bottled water into his cakehole. Many beers in Ryan with who else...Hanson Brothers and B.A.R.T. I thought I left late, Bryan got in at 11:00 and John made it in at 3:30 a.m. Heidi finds some kick ass hosts. Jamie helps set up the tents. Bryan slips him five bones. The family makes up dinner (buffalo burgers and all the fixins). I find Die Hard and Ali tells me things that make me sad. Many beers at camp and we meet Team Balls to the Walls. Look Ma, new friends. We make it to the beer garden by last call. Some dude gives Damian, the charmer, free tickets. Don't really need them as Heidi will keep handing "free" ones off the counter. We make it back to camp. We play games. I suck. I need to stop breaking things. A late night coffee at the Jerk and Squirt, er, Kum and Go.

Special thanks to Todd Chappell, Vickie McCoy and the kids.

Saturday--Monticello to Sebula

Morning goodbyes to Die Hard. Ali gives me a name, John tells me of the adventure and I give him a shirt. We start our riding together but the girls hate my angry music. Fire burning inside. Who put Canton at he bottom of a hill? Bryan needs new shorts as he keeps increasing our acorn count. Meet up with Jesus and pose for some photo ops. Coming this holiday season from Walt Disney Pictures, "Pippy and the Savior." Laurie really hates those cocksucking hills. Get to Andrew. Time for some beers. Last sighting of Marsha. After hanging at the fire fighters bar (they have stools) I start to worry about making the B.A.R.T. bus on time. The boys hammer. We meet up with Damian and Linda in Springbrook and load up the trailer. Bryan had already biked through. He only needs to average 23 mph to make it to the bus on time. We make it to the bus. Time for milk chugging. Mmmm, half-gallon of calcium rich goodness. Hope that doesn't give me gas. Sorry Steve. Bryan makes it, but his glasses are on their way to Dubuque. Can't go to work if you can't see. Fuck you whitey! Bus departs and we have a beer. Bus drives on and we sleep. Not Damon. He's not writing poetry. In Omaha by 3:00 a.m. Rain to wash the bikes and tree branches to dry them. The journey ends. "The point of the journey is not to arrive...The point of departure is not to return." If only life were Rush lyrics. See you all next year. And Team Mystery Machine, I will find your bus and trade you t-shirts.

Very special thanks to Team B.A.R.T.

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